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  Directed by
  Starring
  Specs
  • Widescreen 2.35:1
  • 16:9 Enhanced
  Languages
  • English: Dolby Digital Surround
  Subtitles
    English - Hearing Impaired, Danish, Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish
  Extras
  • Theatrical trailer

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane

MGM/20th Century Fox . R4 . COLOR . 97 mins . M15+ . PAL

  Feature
Contract

You can forget about snapperheads like Batman, Columbo, Kojak and that senile old bastard Matlock, because I’m finally here -the one and only Mr. Rock ‘n’ Roll Detective, Ford Fairlane.

You know, I did every shit job in the biz before I became a superhero. I was a roadie, a publicist, Jimmy Osmond’s bodyguard and personal secretary, I even thought about becoming a fisherman (they get up in the morning, they catch fish, they sell fish, they smell fish, which reminds me of someone...) and I can even do a mean version of Puff the Magic Dragon, but only in the nude. But in the end I decided to specialise in solving crimes for the music industry. My only problem is that clients like INXS pay me with koala bears (f**kin’ Australians, don’t we test nuclear bombs there or something?) and Milli Vanilli pays with bicycle shorts and hair extensions. Don’t these idiots know I can’t pay my bills or buy propa-pylactics with food processors and bathtub CD players?

So when my old school friend and radio shock jock Johnny Crunch (Johnny says he slept with my prom date on the very night of the prom, but I hope not, because it was his sister) offers to pay me cash to find some kooky chic called Zuzu Petals, I’m on it. Problem is, Johnny gets fried live on air and so does my fee for the job. I could almost cry, 'cause even though he was a rat bastard, I really needed the money. Then the next morning, rich bitch Colleen Sutton shows up at my door telling me about her father’s affair with her Shetland pony and then hires me to look for the same Zuzu Petals Johnny was after. She pays me upfront, so I take the job. My investigations show that somehow this Zuzu is connected to the sudden death of Black Plague singer Bobby Black and that sleazebag sack of shit Julian Grendel who owns Grendel Records who Black Plague was signed to. Every step of the way I also gotta deal with jerk-off Lieutenant Anus who’s got a bug up his ass because I bagged his disco single Booty Time when I was a publicist. So now all I gotta do is find out who killed Johnny Crunch, Bobby Black, work out who the f**k Art Mooney is and find Zuzu Petals.

But with Ford Fairlane on the job (I'm so terrifico I even have my own toll-free number: 1-800-UNBELIEVABLE!) you can bet this case is getting cah-losed! OH!

  Video
Contract

If you've been making do all this time with just a VHS version of this film and have been hoping to God that it was done some justice when it was finally released onto DVD, then wait no more and throw out your old copy, because everything looks pretty schmick here. It comes in a 2.35:1 aspect ratio which is its correct original theatrical ratio and it’s 16:9 enhanced as well, so it's off to a good start. As befits a detective/rock'n'roll/comedy/superhero story there are lots of smoky and dark settings and you’d half expect them to show up a few problems seeing as the film is 12 years old now. To this end, there’s a smattering of various minor specks on the print and grain is either non-existent or fairly obvious, depending on the setting. The blacks are nice and dark with good detail, colours are suitably vibrant. Clarity ranges from pinsharp to slightly diffuse, depending on the setting of the scene, but rest assured that the transfer is good and better than you've seen it look for some time.

  Audio
Contract

Being the adventures of a supercool rock ‘n’ roll detective, the film contains the requisite number of shootouts, a few explosions, a car chase (through a cemetery, no less) and a fair bit of rock music. Unfortunately, fans will bemoan the lack of a 5.1 track. In its place we have a perfectly functional and satisfactory 2.0 surround effort though. While it’s not disappointing as the quality is fairly good as is, the liveliness and surround envelopment could have used a remix boost. The dialogue with its flatstick barrage of one-liners and swearing is perfectly clear at every moment, allowing you to take in every line without having to rewind. The surrounds are used to enhance the action a little and the music comes across suitably loud and clear when called into service. So, even though it’s not 5.1, don’t worry yourself sick over it, because it still sounds good.

  Extras
Contract

What we get here is a trailer. If you’re not happy with that, talk to Stanley.

  Overall  
Contract

I can't believe it was 12 years ago I saw this at the cinema with friends. I still fondly remember a shocked mother with her 10 year old son walking out after Ford says to a young kid in the film, "Excuse me! You say the "f" word again I'll bang you right the f**k out! You understand me? Now get the f**k outta here."

As far as I'm concerned, that's all the justification I need to recommend this DVD to people. Hopefully that young kid from the cinema will have moved out of home by now and wondered what he missed all this time. So if you're out there, snapperhead, show up at your DVD shop with a jar of petroleum jelly, and ask for Ford Fairlane.


  • LINK: http://www.dvd.net.au/review.cgi?review_id=1278
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      And I quote...
    "...if there are any DVD virgins reading, show up at your DVD shop right now with a jar of petroleum jelly, and ask for Ford Fairlane! "
    - Vince Carrozza
      Review Equipment
    • DVD Player:
          Sony DVP-525
    • Receiver:
          Sony STR-DB930
    • Speakers:
          Wharfedale s500
    • Centre Speaker:
          Polk Audio CS245
    • Surrounds:
          Wharfedale s500
    • Subwoofer:
          DB Dynamics TITAN
    • Audio Cables:
          Standard Optical
    • Video Cables:
          standard s-video
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