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Languages |
- English: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround
- English: Dolby Digital Stereo
- Spanish: Dolby Digital Stereo
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Subtitles |
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Extras |
- DVD-ROM features - Colouring Book
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The Adventures of Pinocchio |
Warner Bros./Warner Home Video .
R4 . COLOR . 99 mins .
G . PAL |
Feature |
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Contract |
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I’m not even going to bother telling the story of this version of Pinocchio. It is so far removed from the original as to be unrecognisable. Timothy the Cricket? What’s up with that? This is very poor quality animation with very poor quality artwork and I could see no redeeming features in this film whatsoever. The background watercolours are faint, vague and washed out, as well as being blurred half the time (whenever they aren’t running or bleeding into each other that is). Some of the cycled animation is absolutely dreadful and even includes repeating cel damage artefacts! What appears to have been made on an absolute zero budget is proven in the evidence of every single frame. The animation is clunky and amateur and has been produced in Asia somewhere, probably Japan going by credited names. The first 15 minutes of the film (if you last that long) looks like it is shot entirely in yellows, but no, this is just the crap original shoot coming through. The worst part is that there is a credited ‘Color Correctionist’ in the 'newer (DVD)' end titles! Wake up pal, if you still have a job...
Video |
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A classy 4:3 transfer of the 1.33:1 aspect ratio tells us what this was made for, though if anyone ever saw it on the teev I would be very surprised. I recently displayed some disgust over a more contemporary animated production (go here to check it out) that has now shot up the ranks to become a quality work after viewing this atrocity. I have a very bad taste in my mouth since being subjected to this and I wouldn’t recommend it if my arse was on fire and this company owned the ocean. The animated menus are appalling, featuring some truly crap 3D modelling and rendering with the animation second to everything else ever done. What is definitely a pause occurs at 1:12:46 in what is a poor computer transfer or just a crap layer change. It’s obvious upon repeated plays, so it isn’t a one-off. Colours are crap, shadows are inky and blue with no detail, flesh tones are in a constant state of flux and the picture quality is worse in parts than rental video. Yes, I do mean that.
Audio |
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It is quoted at the start that the original music was created by a band (or individual, I guess) named Bullets. They must be but one hair's breadth short of creating music for porno or playing the local leagues club on a Monday night. If that. The main voiceover of Timothy the Cricket is possibly the most annoying narrator I have ever heard. Very, very irritating. The dialogue sounds like it has been pieced together by the work experience kid, leaving in small chunks of snap, crackle or popping after many lines. This isn’t all the way through, but the dialogue doesn’t roll with rhythm from one character to the next creating a rather large and ill-fitting audio landscape. There features some heavy duty echoing in the plain stereo version which definitely makes the Dolby Digital Surround 5.1 the weapon of choice, but even that can’t save this nightmare. The fact there is a choice of listening versions just stuns me honestly. And, just to cap things off, anyone who’s read a couple of my reviews will know I have a pet hate for Stock Sound Effects. In animation, this is generally unavoidable because there was no live-action sound effect recorded with the action. And so, to further poison this reservoir, this DVD includes so many stock sound effects as to have me reeling with repulsion.
Extras |
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Contract |
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Overall |
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Contract |
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According to the end titles this ‘film’ was based upon the original series Mock, created by Mr Kenji Yoshida. Errmmm...? Incorporating only seven chapters (which thankfully, made fast forwarding much faster) this looks like someone banged it out in a lunch hour somewhere. I am literally appalled that firstly; something like this can be made and secondly; that it could float across to DVD. The case claims to contain English and Spanish subtitles, but if you can find either of them you’re doing better than I did. When the executive producer of a film is credited as ‘Century Video Corporation’ and there are so many similar names in the credits (I counted at least four Terrys, and two Romeos) you have to wonder, don’t you? Well, at least I would if I wanted to waste any more time on this disgrace. Here, compare the goodness... Pinocchio, Disney.
LINK: http://www.dvd.net.au/review.cgi?review_id=2402
Send to a friend.
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And I quote... |
"If, according to the sleeve, dreams can come true, why is this DVD still in my house?" - Jules Faber |
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Review Equipment |
- DVD Player:
Nintaus DVD-N9901
- TV:
Sony 51cm
- Receiver:
Diamond
- Speakers:
Diamond
- Surrounds:
No Name
- Audio Cables:
Standard Optical
- Video Cables:
Standard Component RCA
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