Universal Soldier: The Return - Collector's Edition

As those of you who have read my review of Solo know, I happen to enjoy watching B grade films. There's a preverse sense of entertainment to be had watching the (sometimes poor) execution of a bad script. Universal Solidier: The Return is different to other B grade films - even I didn't think much of it. At best it's a D- grade film, and I'd recommend people watch Solo over this piece of trash. The first time I tried to watch it, I fell asleep - reach your own conclusions.

The story (if it can be called such) picks up several years down the track from the original Universal Soldier and Luc Deveraux (JCVD) is an advisor on the military installation developing new UniSols. Somehow, he's been brought back to life after his last stint as a UniSol (UniSols are created from the deceased bodies of American soldiers) and is responsible for the training of the new "recruits". Rather than let them think for themselves (which lead to the UniSols going rogue in the first film) this time the US Army has implanted control circuits in the brains of the soldiers, with an artificial intelligence named SETH in charge.

Predictably, SETH goes haywire trying to protect himself when he learns the government has pulled funding for the project, and uses the UniSols to aid him in his cause. Even more predictably, JCVD saves the day.

Nothing particularly amazing here. No noticeable flaws from the transfer process, though much of the film does have a grimy, smokey appearance. I have a feeling this is a deliberate move by the director, but I still found it quite distracting - I'd say it detracted from the film, but that's not possible.

The case said this was in 5.1 and my amp agreed that it was indeed Dolby Digital, but I can't honestly say I heard much from the surrounds. In fact most of the noise came from the center and sub-woofer, with the mains kicking in with the soundtrack (possibly the only good part of the film.) Dialogue was clear throughout, with no synching problems evident (other than the sinking feeling you get while watching the movie. :)

There's a reasonable sized list of extras on this disc - it's a pity there's nothing particularly interesting there.

• Theatrical trailer - should be on every disc anyway. Watch the trailer, then you don't need to bother watching the film.
• Behind the scenes featurette - the usual case of "let's play the trailer and intersperse it with some interviews." Occasionally you learn something interesting in these, but not this time.
• Interview with Jean-Claude Van Damme - entitled "Looking Back, Moving Forward" this features clips from some of JC's earlier work ("Nowhere to Run", "Maxmimum Risk", "Double Impact" and "Universal Soldier: The Return".) Unsurprisingly, they've cut corners and a good deal of the interview about UniSol: The Return is recycled from the featurette.
• Interview with Michael Jai White - an "On Set Workout" has Michael telling you about what he gets up to on set to keep himself in peak shape. Possibly the best of the extras.
• Filmographies of JCVD, Michael Jai White, Bill Goldberg and director Mic Rogers.

This one's definitely only for the true Jean-Claude Van Damme fans. This movie is BAD and not in a good way. If you'd like to turn a DVD into a drink coaster, then this is the disc for you.