When I was eight years old, oblivious to the groovy '70s that surrounded me, I played with my Evil Knievel, I listened to Sally Boyden, and I thought that Carry On films were pretty darn funny. There was slapstick, women in their undies, guys saying ‘phwoar’, guys nudging each other, even more women in their undies, and a veritable plethora of double-entendre (fnarr, fnarr) that I thought I understood but didn’t. In short, for a young, wide-eyed Aussie kid, Carry On films were rude - Benny Hill rude - and that was the way we liked 'em.

“I’ve lost my pussy – fluff�

I guess I’ve grown up a little since then, or maybe I’ve learned a thing or two, because Carry On Constable, the fourth of the Carry On films and noteworthy as the first to introduce series stalwart Sid James, bored me rigid. In its defense, it’s very possible that those Carry On films that I still look back on with fondness bear little resemblance to the films that established the series, and made way back in 1959, Carry On Constable seems to bear this hypothesis out. Slow to get going and lacking the power to induce even the slightest snort, apart from a few good lines Constable lacks that mischievous titillation that endeared the series to me as a boy. I guess for its time Constable’s innuendo, dropping trousers, busy hands, naked men’s bums, pissing dogs, bursting in on women in their undies, bursting in on women in the shower, misuse of the word constable, and cross-dressing was rather risqué, but by second millennium standards the G-rated hijinx on offer here rather pale in comparison to anything we’ve seen in the last say, erm, 40 years.

For those Carry On fans whose memories need a little prod, the plot of Carry On Constable goes something like this. With a flu epidemic having left a regional British police bereft of experienced officers, three incompetent rookies are dispatched from the academy to lend a hand. It becomes obvious very quickly, however, that the recruits - lady-killer Tom Potter (Leslie Phillips), intellectual Stanley Benson (Kenneth Williams), and the over-superstitious Charlie Constable (Kenneth Connor), with the help of camp Special Officer Timothy Gorse (Charles Hawtrey) - are the most useless bunch of policemen the Met has ever seen. Long-suffering sergeant Frank Wilkins (Sid James) is already at his wit's end dealing with their blunders, when a payroll truck is robbed on their beat...

Presented in non-anamorphic widescreen (1.66:1), Constable’s black and white transfer suffers only from deficiencies in the aging source material. The image is sharp and contrast is good, resulting in a satisfying level of detail in the brightly lit scenes. The film shows its age, however, with low shadow detail and some fairly soft shots at times. Still, black level is great and film artefacts, after a slew sprinkled over the opening titles, are kept to a reasonable level throughout. All in all, very watchable indeed, and Carry On fans will have no complaints about the presentation.

In terms of audio, there’s nothing at all to write home about, with the original mono soundtrack emanating clearly from the centre speaker throughout. On the plus side, all signs of age such as hiss, pops and dropouts are nowhere to be heard. Like the other Carry On releases, there are no extras included.