Some stage plays make the transition to film very well. Others, unfortunately, just look like stage plays made into films. Still others look like theatre students putting on a show. This last option was the impression I took from this film. Full of overdrawn clichés, tacky pretentious sets and characters no-one could possibly care a shit about, regardless of their vulnerability or their inner strength or whatever.

Telling the crude tale of four people – two married, two unmarried – we discover the insecurities of the marrieds and the lewdness and animal instincts of the unmarrieds. Whether director Noli (on its own, like ‘Madonna’ or ‘Cher’) is trying to make some statement about marriage or not is basically undecipherable between bouts of tongue wrestling and sweaty sex in this overwritten, undercrafted production.

Trying to use modern techniques of filmmaking but falling flat, the film struggles through the thin plot slowly introducing secret revelations and such, but not raising an eyebrow here. In fact, the whole film is so devoid of life of any sort I found myself yawning a bit and also checking the time constantly.

There are even some performances included of interpretive darnce just to fully fledge the undergraduate appearance of this 99 minute yawner. And, yes, even the sexy bits weren’t enough to keep this reviewer interested.

Well, the picture quality is quite something. Delivered with nary an artefact, all colours are bright and vibrant, sterile whites are overlit to give their sterility and work well for the ‘emotion’ of the film and flesh tones (and plenty of ‘em) all look natural enough. Shadow detail is fine as are blacks and basically a shit film gets a great transfer (thus continuing a proud tradition).

Audio quality is also fine and delivered here in Dolby Digital stereo which is all we need. Dialogue is all easily understood, unfortunately, although the wanky lines will have some people just annoyed (okay, most people). Sound effects have been well used to fill in the detail and while not a huge palette, sound just fine regardless. The nicest part about this film is the music, which is a good blend of orchestral and individual classical instruments. This has been transferred very nicely and did help me get through this all round horror.

As for extras, there is just the trailer given us here. This is granted us in 1.85:1 without 16:9 enhancement, as is the film’s presentation here as well. This runs for a way too long 2:08. Being a rental, we are also granted an anti-piracy ad and two other trailers that open from the film entering the DVD player. These are for Baby Juice Express and The Real Thing.

All up this film is art school wank and as such is vapid, empty and devoid of meaning. I tried to find some redeeming quality about the story and found that the music was all I could come up with. Performances are mediocre, the set dressing is too obvious and arty and the script is so deliberate and contrived as to be irritating. I wouldn’t recommend this film to anyone, for any reason other than a good example of ‘what not to do’. A stage director doesn’t automatically transmutate to film direction, even if directing a play they wrote themselves.