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  Directed by
  Starring
  Specs
  • Widescreen 1.78:1
  • 16:9 Enhanced
  • Dual Layer (RSDL )
  Languages
  • English: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround
  Subtitles
    English, Hebrew, Czech, Greek, Polish, Hungarian, English - Hearing Impaired, Turkish, Romanian
  Extras
  • Additional footage - Extended Scenes
  • Deleted scenes
  • Theatrical trailer
  • Featurette
  • Gag reel

The Tuxedo

Universal/Universal . R4 . COLOR . 95 mins . M15+ . PAL

  Feature
Contract

The essential problem with this film occurred to me late last night, as I lay in bed unable to sleep, the sound of uncharitable birds chirping at the coming dawn and my wife stealing all the blankets while she dreamt of a life with Brad Pitt in Majorca. The film, called The Tuxedo, features a super high-tech experimental tuxedo which allows the wearer to do all manner of physically amazing things, such as dance like James Brown, fight like Bruce Lee, cook duck l'orange properly, and assemble guns like Charlton Heston. Yet, here is the problem, the film isn’t actually about the tuxedo at all. In fact, it barely gets a nod at, serving as a mere distraction to the actual plot, which is really about a nut who plans to poison the world’s water supplies so he can demand that the bottled water barons buy his special water filtration unit.

You have to admit, that’s a pretty f*cking lame story for a film, yeah?

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Don't you just love this face?

You have to wonder why didn’t they call the film Deadly Waters or Thirst for Danger or something similarly stupid like that. The suit only exists as a device to explain why normal taxi driver Jackie Chan can suddenly jump around like a loon, as we’ve become used to him doing in his films.

Chan plays taxi driver James Tong, who accidentally gets mixed up in an undercover spy operation to investigate the above mentioned madman. He gets recruited as a driver for super-spy Clark Devlin, but when Devlin is injured in an attack, Tong vows to find out who’s responsible. He assumes Devlin’s identity and immerses himself in the world of spies, crazed madmen, hi-tech tuxedos and dastardly plots. You see? Tong, James Tong. Get it? BWAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA! Spies! James Tong! I don’t get it.

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Tommy Lee Jones makes a cameo appearance.

It’s sadly unfortunate, but they could have cut the first 30 minutes of the film and just made out that Chan was a super-spy in the first place. No one would have known the difference, no one would have even cared. People don’t pay their 13 bucks to dissect a Chan story, they pay to see him fly through the air like a nutcase and slide off cars and deflect flung chairs using his nuts while beating baddies to death with a wet bathrobe.

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Hello, my name is Jennifer, we're pleased to meet you.

One thing that I did like about the story was the inclusion of Jennifer Love Hewitt as his apprentice spy partner. I can’t recall having seen any of her previous television or film work, but I gotta say, in my capacity as a guy with a thing for hot babes, I found her to be a babe of not inconsiderable hotness. She has a sexy look, a great body and a bit of an attitude, and she isn’t too shy to use her attributes to , ahem, improve a film. I heard she was, er, “good” in Heartbeakers, so I think I’ll be renting that one in the next few days.

But the film, as much as I enjoyed it, well, I just wasn’t that impressed. It contained a reasonable amount of action, mostly of the frenetic Chan fighting variety but not nearly enough of his more adventurous, limbre gymnastics, it had a few laughs mostly generated by or at Chan’s expense, some cringe worthy bits, some very underused actors that should have been better utilised (Debi Mazar needed a lot more screen time, she has more attitude than anyone else in the film, including the bad guys) but the running time was obviously edging up and beyond the bladder zone for an action/comedy, so it looks to have suffered a bit cut-wise to keep it at 95 minutes.

There’s far worse you could watch than The Tuxedo, but for the Quote Whores at Rip it Up to say that this is “Definitely one of Chan’s best!” is a little silly. Sure, as long as you eliminate most of his earlier work and ignore his Rush Hour duets, this is great, but fact is he’s done better. But if we can learn anything from The Tuxedo, it should be that Chan doesn’t need a loudmouthed unfunny dickhead like Chris Tucker to make a film viewable.

  Video
Contract

Opened up from the theatrical ratio of 1.85:1 to 1.78:1 to fill your widescreen display, and with 16:9 enhancement, The Tuxedo gets a nice looking transfer and will have you smiling smugly to yourself on occasion for spending money on a nice big display when your wife thought a nice vase for the hallway would have been a better way to spend your money. The settings use varying colour schemes, warmer for more neutral locations and cooler for the bad guy sets, and it all looks great and fairly natural with nothing standing out as being too unrealistically vibrant. Detail is good throughout with suitably high levels rendered just on the softer side of pin sharp, and with a healthy and acceptable minimal level of grain throughout.

  Audio
Contract

You have to expect all sorts of dynamic audio activity emanating from all corners of your room when you watch a Chan Hollywood actioner. This is pretty good as far as they go and doesn’t let you down, but it’s not the best I’ve heard. This can be levelled at the audio mix and the film which although active doesn’t contain nearly enough of the sort of on-screen activity which gives rise for unique and discrete speaker mayhem. Dialogue is usually okay, but I missed a line here and there from a combination of slightly low levels and Chan’s still thick and slurred rendering of the English language. Seeing as how I wasn’t exactly listening to a discussion on quantum mechanics I’ll let this pass. What I won’t let pass is the entire dropped word on the layer change. You’ll see JLH mouth the word “constipated?” but you’ll need the help of subtitles to know this. It is a bloody stupid place for a layer change, and hopefully they’ll remember some of us still don’t have players with buffers when they do their next title. Otherwise, this is an entertaining enough use for your 5.1 system.

  Extras
Contract

The theatrical trailer plays upon the high-tech tuxedo and completely ignores the actual plot, which gives you a good indication of the thinking that went into this film.

The Cutting Room Floor is a collection of nine deleted scenes which don’t add anything we can’t live without, three extended scenes which are relatively minor in difference and bloopers, mostly of JLH laughing at Chan.

The making of The Tuxedo is par for the course at 12 minutes long, and the best part for me is the very brief bit where Jackie takes a very subtle dig at The Matrix and the style of fighting effect it has spawned.

  Overall  
Contract

Having the power of Dreamworks behind this film certainly hasn't hurt Jackie Chan in this solo venture, but it's still some way off the all-conquering invasion that I'm sure many suits predicted for Chan on the box office. Had this starred anyone else though, it wouldn't have been half as entertaining, as it's Chan's charm and acrobatics that stops it from being a total stinker.


  • LINK: http://www.dvd.net.au/review.cgi?review_id=3017
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      And I quote...
    "...if we can learn anything from The Tuxedo, it should be that Chan doesn’t need a loudmouthed unfunny dickhead like Chris Tucker to make a film viewable."
    - Vince Carrozza
      Review Equipment
    • DVD Player:
          Sony DVP-525
    • TV:
          Philips 55PP8620
    • Receiver:
          Sony STR-DB1070
    • Speakers:
          Wharfedale s500
    • Centre Speaker:
          Polk Audio CS245
    • Surrounds:
          Wharfedale WH-2
    • Subwoofer:
          DB Dynamics TITAN
    • Audio Cables:
          Standard Optical
    • Video Cables:
          standard s-video
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