Ffolkes

Roger Moore - sorry, Sir Roger Moore now – seemed to get roles in the '70s and '80s similar to James Bond in which he seemed desperate to not be James Bond doing them (see Sea Wolves by the same director). Ffolkes is just like that, as Moore plays a woman hating, cat fancying, whiskey drinking, cross-stitch weaving ex-Navy guy with a band of strapping ex-Navy men at his disposal. His eccentricities are included in his name to start with; Rufus Excalibur Ffolkes. I mean, who names a kid that? That’s just cruel. Add to that the fact he had five older sisters and was raised by a sainted aunt and wore his sister’s hand-me-downs till age ten, and you have Ffolkes.

"I could tell you the size of his underwear!"

It seems Ffolkes has a group of professionals and is asked to prepare for a rescue scenario in which a North Atlantic oil rig could be taken hostage. One month later, coincidentally, an oil rig is taken hostage, but thankfully Ffolkes and his men are prepared. Anthony Perkins plays the leader of the villians and spends a lot of his time saying trite and overwritten lines and looking like Maxwell Smart. The story then goes through a timeframe of ransom demands while Ffolkes and his merry men get together their plan to save the whales or oil rig or whatever it is.

It’s an interesting film with some reckless performances, but is watchable at the end of the day. Perkins plays cheesy throughout and Moore plays weirdo with a shockingly pubic beard. While the story is nothing new, there are a few abject minor twists that involve Ffolkes’ plans going wrong and him basically thinking on his feet to amend them. Directed by Andrew V. McLaglen, a man known for his John Wayne western films, this is enjoyable if not enthralling viewing. The action sequences are left a little late in the piece and run too short, leaving us with lots of Ffolkes’ eccentricities and dialogue for most of the film. That being said, the finalé is quite tense and well constructed, but it’s almost a case of too little too late. Some people may have gone beyond caring by that point.

Made in 1979, this film looks pretty great for its age. While there are artefacts throughout, most of these are incidental and unaffecting of the picture. Delivered in 1.85:1 and 16:9 enhanced, the picture quality is quite exceptional and has been authored by the amazing Sony DVD Center to be clear and bright. The colours are nice and even and aren’t garish or overly bright and there’s no bleeding or soft edges evident.

Being set in the turbulent waters of the North Atlantic Sea, naturally some model work is to be expected, and while this has been utilised fairly convincingly, the quality of the picture does betray it a little. However, the night shots and shadows are all fine with plenty of visual detail apparent and the blacks are true to reality. Another classy delivery from Sony.

Whilst only being Dolby Digital stereo, this is more than adequate for the film. Although billed as action, most of the film is dialogue-driven and so the sound quality for this is just fine. There are occasions of stock sound effects in evidence, particularly ‘gunshot ricocheting off metal’, but there aren’t a great deal. The rest of the sound effects are even and don’t dominate the audio track - and this includes some hefty explosions and indoor gunshots.

Dialogue is all very clean and well-delivered with the various accents of the oil rig and ship’s crews coming across well. There are a bunch of overwritten hardarse lines that sound a bit fluffy, but in general it’s those that are at fault, rather than the soundscape. Musically the score keeps the film afloat as it carefully builds tension throughout until coming to its crescendo in the final moments, really helping the finalé along.

Not a single rig afloat on an empty sea, however, this bit gets one gold star for the mildly animated menus.

This would hardly win any awards for action drama thriller, but it is a better than average thriller. Moore plays his part well enough and does make a huge leap away from James Bond (until the ending at least). Anthony Perkins is a bit flaccid as the terrorist leader, being bullied about by the ship’s crew at times, but in general he plays the psycho well (geddit?).

Dads may well love it and it will sit fairly comfortably alongside some of the classic Alistair MacClean films that have sprung from books. Incidentally, this was written by Jack Davies and is taken from his novel Esther, Ruth and Jennifer (which are the names of the two oil rigs and the ship that goes between). Good ffun ffor everyone except women, who are put down a lot by Ffolkes’ sexist remarks.