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  Directed by
  Starring
  Specs
  • Widescreen 1.85:1
  • Dual Layer ( )
  Languages
  • English: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround
  • French: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround
  • Spanish: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround
  Subtitles
    English, French, Spanish, Dutch, English - Hearing Impaired, Danish, Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish
  Extras

    The Big Green

    Buena Vista/Buena Vista . R4 . COLOR . 96 mins . G . PAL

      Feature
    Contract

    Poor old Steve Guttenberg. I can imagine the execs at Disney sitting around playing hardball with this film idea...

    Chief Exec: “Okay, this is what we do... we make a film about something that kids really like.”
    Dennis: “Like eating broccoli?”
    Chief Exec: “You’re fired, Dennis, I said something kids like.”
    Exec One: “Racquetball?”
    Chief Exec: “Yeah. Getting there.”
    Dennis: “Well how about white water rafting?”
    Chief Exec: “You still here, Dennis? Alright, sit down, that wasn’t so bad... but I want more here.”
    Exec Two: “Like, what if we have the kids enjoying themselves playing with Disney merchandise? Everyone can enjoy that.”
    Chief Exec: “You’re new here, so I’ll tell you, we stick that in all our films anyway. But, good suggestion. Keep it up.”
    Exec One: “Okay, chief, I got it! How about Rollerball?”
    Chief Exec: “Jesus, Eddie, it’s been done already!”
    Exec One: “But not with kids.”
    Chief Exec: “Hmm... no. But I like the ball part.”
    (Quick fire ideas clammering to be heard) Exec Two: “Tennis!”
    Exec One: “Golf!”
    Exec Three: “Lawn Bowls!”
    Exec Two: “Soccer!”
    Exec Four: “Basketball!”
    Exec One: “Tennis!”
    Exec Three: “Golf!”
    Exec Two: “Lawn Bowls!”
    Exec Four: “Soccer!”
    Chief Exec: “Alright, simmer down! The middle one, soccer; who said that?”
    (in unison)
    All Execs: “I did!”
    Exec Two: “I did, you liars!”
    Exec Four: “I did! I said soccer!”
    Exec Two: “After I said it!”
    Exec Four: “Oh hohh!”
    Exec Two: “Ge-et!”
    Exec Four: “I’m dobbing”

    Ad nauseum... until...

    Chief Exec: “...And get someone funny to be the sheriff. See if Pauly Shore’s available.”
    (Indistinct phone conversation)
    Assistant: “Pauly Shore’s making Haunted Supermarket sir.”
    Chief Exec: “Dammit. Alright, see if Steve Guttenberg will do it.”

    That was fun. Which is basically the attempt made by this film. I say ‘attempt’ in that it’s really just standard sausage machine fare and contributes nothing to the world stage. It could have been lawn bowls, it could have been tennis. In this case it just happens to be soccer.

    "Terminators..."

    Here’s the short version...
    New teacher moves to dying factory town. Everyone’s lost hope, so being from England she introduces soccer and suddenly the whole town has something to hope for. A cup. (Like it’s bound to be full of jobs and food stamps and hard liquor). Single slob sheriff (the ‘hilarious’ Steve Guttenberg) cleans up act to knock boots with the hot young teacher and just learns a thing or two about kids. Roll credits.

    This ’un is for the youngsters who question nothing, appreciate fart gags and can maintain attention beyond an hour. There’s nothing here we’ve not seen before.

      Video
    Contract

    Shot in 1995, the picture quality is really very good. The whole colour palette is even and natural, as are flesh tones and blacks. Shadow detail is okay whenever it occurs and there aren’t many film artefacts dropped in. This is delivered in the screen ratio of 1.85:1, but doesn’t have anamorphic enhancement for some reason. Oh well. The picture looks almost as good as we’ve come to expect from Buena Vista.

      Audio
    Contract

    Delivered in Dolby Surround 5.1, the soundtrack really doesn’t get up and play the full two halves here and leaves the surrounds sitting on the bench most of the game. However it does get out on the pitch and get its kit a little dirty so everyone knows it at least played today. Most of the time, though, it sits around chewing the halftime oranges.

    Music is by the omnipotent Disney stalwart Randy Edelman and is suitably sugar-coated or triumphant as required. There are a couple of tracks interspersed throughout as well, but really there’s nothing here to make you sit up and cock an ear. Sound effects are direct to the kids with comical boings and speddoings and squelches as required for any given gag. (And for the record, stepping in cow shit does make the comedic boing-oing noise heard here).

      Extras
    Contract

    Forfeited the game and never even showed up. Even the menus look slung together.

      Overall  
    Contract

    This one’s strictly for the kids without much but the sight of Olivia d’Abo in her running gear for the older fellas gathered about. Soccer fans may well enjoy it, but I doubt anyone over the age of fourteen will get much from it. The lack of extras doesn’t help its case much here either. If the gang liked The Mighty Ducks or films of that sort, they may well enjoy The Big Green for its simple message about teamwork and courage.


  • LINK: http://www.dvd.net.au/review.cgi?review_id=3425
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      And I quote...
    "The usual Disney phuff here with a redeeming moral of believing in yourself. Or work as a team. Or something."
    - Jules Faber
      Review Equipment
    • DVD Player:
          Nintaus DVD-N9901
    • TV:
          Sony 51cm
    • Receiver:
          Diamond
    • Speakers:
          Diamond
    • Surrounds:
          No Name
    • Audio Cables:
          Standard Optical
    • Video Cables:
          Standard Component RCA
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