This film could easily have been condensed into about 15 minutes. Instead it drags on and on, piling red herring upon red herring until finally we receive the ending, delivered bountiless and bereft.
I don’t mind some older films. Some are just as good by today’s standard as they were when originally released. However, for every one there’s around seven to 15 bad ones (I’m not sure exactly of these odds because I’m making them up). Let’s at least have a little stroll through this one…
Ellen is a manipulating old rich woman. She’s married to, and bosses around, her slave-like and whipped husband, Raymond. Her secretary, Richard, wants to off her and take her money; after all he’s always cutting cheques for himself and signing her name to them. Ray and Ellen have just welcomed home Alice, their niece who has grown into a woman while being at art college in gay Paree. And what does Alice have to do with any of this? Well, she’s in love with Uncle Ray, and he with her. They could be together if Ellen were dead…
So, through some convoluted planning the boys finally succeed in burying the old bitch in the yard. However, soon mysterious things start to happen around the house and they remember that she had the power to hypnotise herself... is it possible she pretended to be dead and was consequently buried in the yard inside a filing cabinet? Could she be back and trying to scare them into pooping themselves? Only these dreary 86 minutes from 1964 will tell.
| "Sometimes dreams can be more real than life… and in the cottage it’ll be even worse!" |
Lines that make no sense like that one above appear for laughs throughout, although I don’t think they are intentional gags. Taken from what was probably a better read than this, Catacombs was written by Jay Bennett, a guy who is probably rolling in his own grave (if he’s dead) at what they did to his book in this movie. Or maybe he thinks it kicks arse and his writing’s not that great. I dunno. At any rate, this film starts fitfully, continues painfully and then continues endlessly some more. For a brief moment or two it seems like it’s going to be okay, but then the characters start talking or doing stuff again and the dream fades away.
Dead in the water black and white don’t help make this look like a Hitchcockian thriller of supernatural proportions. It just makes it look even more boring. Delivered in 4:3, of course there’s no anamorphicism, but even adding that word to the review helps me fill in this part when there’s really nothing of worth to report. There are some dinged up moments with film artefacts appearing throughout; at times more than others, and the blacks aren’t quite there. More a deeper grey than anything. There are numerous night shots that all suck by way of non-existent shadow detail and this certainly doesn’t help this film appear any scarier or thrillier. There are also moments of jittery frames and shudders that aren’t intentional and I only picked up one compression artefact at 44:30, where a line of code doesn’t register correctly with those around it.
Blistering Dolby Digital stereo brings every dreary scream or angsty '50s horror movie music to tinny life. Dialogue is all clear enough and easily heard and understood, but the music is the worst. Up and down, here and there, back and forth. It always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and entirely unhelpful to the plot. Oh well. At least the sound effects are okay, even if they are minimal and dull.
Dreary and fairly predictable, this is an average thriller without any real recourse for recommendation. I couldn’t wait for it to finish and looked at the clock frequently throughout the last hour. Performances are pretty stilted and unassuming and the degradation of the film, while entirely watchable, is just another nail in this filing cabinet that is a coffin. Barely worth a rental, unless you’re a fan of any of these flicks or no name actors.
