Well, this is just as I expected; a pile of shit.
This film looks like an excuse for a paid trip to Russia. Which is nice work if you can get it, I just don’t think we need to subject the poor unassuming public to seeing it on DVD.
Apparently, there’s this top guy in the New York Mafia who has this deadshit nephew Anthony and when one of his guys gets ripped off by a Russian mail order bride, he decides this doesn’t looks so good. Solving two problems at once, he sends the deadshit to Russia, never expecting to see him again. However, once in Russia, the deadshit gets wise and decides to prove to everyone that he’s not just a deadshit; he too can be a Wiseguy.
And there’s a bit more stuff I won’t bore you with that convolutes an already crap script. The film itself never knows if it’s trying to be funny or dramatic or an action movie, deciding to throw in a little of each and let us figure it out for ourselves. The major flaw with that is we couldn’t give a rat’s arse before halfway what the hell it is. The dude playing the deadshit, Robert Capelli Jr. appears everywhere in the production of this film, even co-directing, and that’s always a worry if you aren’t paired up with your brother or working on a Disney film. He helped write it, direct it, act in it and if given the chance I’m sure he would have catered it as well.
Danny Aiello should know better than to appear in shit like this, but it might have been a favour to somebody. He is also hopelessly and forever typecast as a Mafia guy, so I guess you gotta do what you do best. Even in turkeys like this cliché festival.
My advice is pretend you didn’t see it as you walk by, ignore any loved one who suggests it in the video store, hastily scrabbling to grab whatever else comes to hand. I guarantee it’ll be at least equal to or better than this waste of time.
Made last year in 2003 (for those of you unsure of the year), this looks pretty good, even if there is a custard pie in the face gag. No kidding, there really is. The colour is fine and the film gets delivered in the TV aspect ratio of 1.78:1 with anamorphic enhancement. I’m not surprised it wasn’t a cinema aspect either. It’s fine looking, regardless of content is what I’m saying to you here.
Another firm TV favourite in the Dolby Digital stereo delivery that does the job of bringing every shithouse Russian accent to the screen in truly laughable fashion (don’t get me wrong, it’s funny for the wrong reasons). Music is provided here by The Red Elvises (whoever the hell they are) and they even get their mugs on screen, actually mugging in the trite and cheery ending. Not the street-robbery type of mugging, but the I’m-an-idiot-who-can’t-help-myself-acting-like-a-dickhead-in-front-of-a-camera. Truly, nothing of note.
I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. The only thing going for it is the use of genuine Russian cityscapes and scenery, but this isn’t anywhere near enough to warrant watching the film. It’s useless rubbish and should be thoroughly ignored.
