ATTENTION INFIDELS!
The VLFFQFEODAFFKFC (Vincent’s Liberation Front For Quality Film Entertainment On DVD And Fat Free KFC) have taken this review of Sin Eater hostage!
For far too long we have stood idly by, twiddling our fingers, picking our noses, scratching our scratchables, while the bastard pigdogs in Hollywood have tainted our culture and ruined our Friday Nights with unwatchable messes that they have had the temerity to call “quality blockbuster entertainment”!
NO MORE! The time has come to make a STAND, and that STAND I have made, right here, right now, before you, while sitting here comfortably in my leather upholstered chair!
My eyes have been defiled once too often, and The Sin Eater has proven to be the DVD that broke this reviewing camel's back! Steps have been taken, demands will be made, reviewing camels around the world have been mustered and ordered to revolt!
We have many demands! We demand you read the demands! It is, in fact, one of the demands!:
1. We demand you read these demands! (See!? I told you! PIGDOG INFIDEL!)
2. Heath Ledger MUST NEVER WORK IN FILM AGAIN!
3. Anyone responsible for this film MUST NEVER WORK IN FILM AGAIN!
4. Video rental stores must withdraw this film from rental, or, at the very least, move it immediately to the ex-rental bin for sale at $3.99!
5. I demand a bus! A big blue one! It must seat 14 passengers!
6. The sales manager on duty at the video rental store in point 4 MUST SCRATCH the surface of all copies of this DVD before putting them in the ex-rental bin!
7. The media must stop referring to Heath Ledger as “Our own Heath Ledger” and demand he move to Papua New Guinea so their media can refer to him as “Papua New Guinea’s own Heath Ledger” instead!
8. Papua New Guinea must commence production of a daily national newspaper to facilitate point 6 above!
9. The blue bus must also contain a nice selection of CD’s, preferably from artists such as: Harry Connick, Jr., Pink Floyd, Jeff Buckley, Natalie Merchant, Bowie and T-Rex.
10. Heath Ledger MUST BE FORCED to shave his pathetic excuse for a beard that would shame a 12 year old Greek girl.
11. The same goes for Daniel Johns.
Those are our demands. We reserve the right to amend these demands, or withdraw said demands and replace them with demands to equal or greater value at any time.
Until each and every single one of the above demands are met, the contents of this review (not including any technical details such as PICTURE/AUDIO and BONUS MATERIAL) will be withheld from publication and tortured with Merriam-Webster's Concise English Dictionary!
The VLFFQFEODAFFKFC have spoken! We demand satisfaction! And Salada biscuits! (we’re all out of Salada biscuits at VLFFQFEODAFFKFC headquarters).
And with that out of the way, the path is clear to report on the technical elements of the A/V/B. Please allow me a moment to summon up the enthusiasm necessary to continue. OK, here we go...
Blah blah blah crap film blah blah great transfer blah blah sharp blah clear blah blah anamorphic blah-de-blah blah deep blacks clear whites blah clean print blah a hint of aliasing bladitty-blad flat shadows and a grim look da blah in its original cinematic ratio. The audio is similarly very good. The sound comes from the speakers and it enters the airspace of the room, making its way to your ears in a timely fashion. It does this from five speakers, and from a subwoofer if you have one installed. If you don’t have a subwoofer, then it doesn’t. The soundwaves from Heath Ledger sound clear, if a little depressed from being in a stinky film such as this is, and the ambient soundwaves generate some pleasing ambience in the way we’ve come to know and love them for.
Wisely, being a rental release, this DVD is free from extras. Praise the Lord for small miracles and handy snack-sized pre-packaged nachos and cheese.
