TISM - The White Albun

Well, everyone must know them by now, but that doesn’t mean everyone likes them. They are, of course, TISM (which stands for Touch It Softly Mister) and they are perhaps the wildest Australian rock act since, well, ever.

TISM (which stands for Tools In Silly Masks) will tell you themselves that they’re shithouse. For example, take this quote from their lyrical bastion:

"TISM are shit… but who the f*ck isn’t?"

The final song on their latest effort, The White Albun (sic) is even called that. Nowhere can I recall a band so encouraging of their fans to hate them and all they stand for. However, the band still shares a peculiar relationship with their fans. Yes, the fans hate them, but they also love them in an equal capacity. It’s weird and it’s hardly what any self-respecting band of egotists would do, but it works for TISM (which stands for Tongues In Swollen Mouths).

Here we have a film by Antonionioni - presumably one of the myriad TISM (an acronym for Totalitarian Infantry Sisters of Mercy) background members – detailing what is apparently their final concert at the Hi-Fi Bar in Melbourne on September 26th, 2003. It reeks of the usual self-centred TISM (an acronym for Terror Inside Suburban Males) concerts and this is what gives it such unique appeal.

This masked group of mystery men have been performing live around Australia for centuries under one guise or another. I myself even witnessed the chaos of a TISM (standing for Teenage Imperialists Smoking Marijuana) show myself around the late '80s in East Brisbane and while their music has been far more finely honed since, their stage antics have only improved with age. Herein is their usual crowd assault, their ludicrous stage choreography and their general malice toward all things iconically mainstream. Truly an Australian institution, the name TISM even refers to that, being an anagram of Terra Institutionalis Semper Mayonnaise, which of course means bugger all.

Playing as a telethon to Save Our TISM, the guys perform onstage for the length and breadth of this 69 minute film, with varying entertainment pieces thrown in for garnish. The highlight had to be for me where two members stagedive and come to blows with the crowd who succeed in stripping them of their '50s astronaut retro outfits, leaving the two to perform naked for the rest of the gig. You gotta love that kind of dedication to your performance and that kind of smash-the-literati from an audience.

The guys from TISM (which stands for Tragically Impotent Serial Molesters) are trying to raise one million dollars by gig’s end or they’re going to break up. Under the barrage of money being hurled at them from the crowd (and quite accurately too) they might just succeed… but I won’t spoil the ending for you, other to say there are some fairly aggressive fan interviews that follow.

I had a lot of fun watching this and the band go through a wide and eclectic playlist from their comprehensive back catalogue which features many of their more well known tracks (I won’t say ‘hits’), plus some subtle gems from the vaults. Included are (my highlights in bold):

• Untitled
• Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway
• (I’m Interested In) Apathy
• 40 Years Then Death
• Saturday Night Palsy
• 5 Yards
• Whatareya?
• Diatribe (Spoken word poem – quite excellent)
• All Homeboys Are Dickheads
• Root
• Greg! The Stop Sign!!
• I’ll ‘Ave Ya
• (He’ll Never Be An) Old Man River
• TISM Are Shit
• I Drive A Truck
• BFW
• Defecate On My Face

This is TISM (which stands for This Is Serious Mum) at their very best, still kicking arse and rocking hard with their overblown political agenda and refusal to go away. (Well, except that they’re threatening to break up… ). Any fan will be enthused over this usual hyper-intelligent social commentary and lowest common denominator shit-flinging.

Shot in a dingy club somewhere in Melbourne, this actually doesn’t look too bad. The lines are fairly good and clean, though there are times when we lose focus or whatever. Colour is well saturated, though this is practically limited to the beams of spotlights as the band wear their silver spacesuits like some mutated Supremes and the crowd are essentially in the dark. In that regard blacks are fairly true, while shadow detail remains moderating between good and evil. The film is only in a 4:3 aspect ratio, which will disappoint the widescreeners, but it looks great regardless. This is a wild show and one captured brilliantly by numerous cameras throughout the bar.

Dialogue is quite clear and that’s always good for a concert film. Being one in which the band invests so much by way of lyrics, this is important and thankfully all is clear here. There is but one Bleep! covering themselves against legal wrangles with a well known Aussie band which is kinda funny (and equated in the visuals later to cover the face of two band members who’ve been robbed of their masks by an over-anxious crowd). The surrounds get a good workout with the music and singular separate channels for sound effects (like what sounds like jackhammers at one point). The subwoofer stays thrumming away for the duration as well, giving that raw concert feeling.

Music has, of course, been scored by TISM (which stands for Terminal Illness Sufferer’s Monthly) and this is their usual incisive wit interlaced with catchy guitar riffs, thrusting wokka-wokka and a heavy backing beat. Delirious stuff for those who fancy the band.

This is a three disc set (!) and features a slipcase that looks remarkably like a videotape case. Coincidence? I doubt it. Disc One features the major concert as well as several small handheld camera featurettes afterward. Before the Show features a taste of Ron Cam (I’ll come to that in a sec) and the band mucking around backstage. A bit grainy and poorly lit but big deal. It’s funny. Ron’s on the toilet.

That’s followed by After the Show, a conversely different piece featuring crowd comments and such with some appalling fan-singing of big name tracks (again, I’m not saying ‘hits’). Varying stages of quality decay.

Ron Cam is a feature we can click on during the film when an icon appears that allows us to see from Ron Hitler-Barassi’s personal point of view from the stage (or crowd). Worth a look for some finer moments…

The TISM Do-It-Yourself Edit gives us a multi-angle sequence in which we can direct six cameras and cut our own version of a scene from the film. It’s only 4:10 long, but that’s about how long the novelty takes to wear off.

Finally (for Disc One), there’s Madman Propaganda in the form of trailers for 24 Hour Party People, Amandla!, A Weekend in the Country, Standing in the Shadows of Motown, Live Forever and the dub-titled humour of Kung Faux (Boxcutta!).

Disc Two is a CD featuring their latest albun; The White Albun. Featuring 16 tracks, this is TISM (which stands for Territorial Indigenous Subordinate Morons) at their most refined and their most cutting. An excellent listen I’ve had on heavy rotation at my place for the last week or so. Track listing goes like this (my highlights in bold):

• Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
• Bone Idol
• Message From A Big Day Out Port-A-Loo
• DJ Trevor
• I Rooted a Girl Who Rooted a Guy Who Rooted a Girl Who Rooted a Guy Who Rooted a Girl Who Rooted Shane Crawford
• The Birth Of Uncool
• As Seen On Reality
• The Song Of The Quarter-Time Siren (Car Battery)
• Diffident Strokes
• Ken Bruce has Gone Mad
• Sorted For D ‘n M
• Cerebral Knievel
• Tonight Harry’s Practice Visits The Home Of Charlie ‘Bird’ Parker
• Somebody Start A Fight Or Something
• Neck It
• TISM Are Shit

Another brilliantly cutting and coercive (or is that subversive? Probably both) albun from TISM that threatens to be their last… but will it? Who knows. Don’t count on anything until you’ve heard it from them. Even now they may be plotting a reunion tour, though an extra on Disc Three states that every performance since their first has been a reunion performance...

Disc Three features all those little bits and pieces we’ve always wanted assembled into one little disc we could throw at someone and finally here it is. This entire disc is presented in cutting edge Dolby Digital stereo.

Our first bit is probably the highlight or key feature in an interview with Ron Hitler-Barassi and Humphrey B. Flaubert, who stroll about Melbourne making light of their past. This is 21:32 of some very entertaining and very witty banter from these two stalwarts of TISM (which stands for… oh, forget it).

Our second bit features the band’s personal home videos and these have been recorded in various places with various equipment and are in various stages of decomposition. 17 bits totalling 57:10 will keep the avid fan busy for, well, just under an hour.

Nine music videos that most folks will not have seen due to restrictions on content on Australian music television. Or maybe they will have, I dunno. Anyway, there’s some funny stuff in here and this goes back quite a few years.

Next up is 11:16 of TISM performing live at Homebake a while back and this is exactly what the fans are used to, including the song titles held up on cards before each song performance.

Finally, there’s some DVD-ROM content that gives you the lyrics to The White Albun previously mentioned as Disc Two in this set.

A hugely generous slice of TISM here creates what they call their Nasterpiece. And bad luck if you just want the CD folks, it only comes with this three-disc set. Still, anyone wanting it will enjoy the DVD content without doubt.

TISM are an Australian icon all of their own, though they and no doubt many would reject that notion. However, like them or not there’s no denying them. While this albun isn’t exactly on a parallel with some of TISM’s previous efforts, the film and the extras accompanying the CD (or the CD accompanying the film) make it a worthwhile investment for the discerning fan.

…And in case you honestly don’t know, TISM actually stands for Teguments Is So Masculine...