Three Way

If you’ve entered this little corner of the Internet hoping to read a review of some thinly disguised soft-porno film called Three Way featuring a pair of scantily clad nymphettes, maybe wrestling in mud and just generally gettin' it on, then you are in for a surprise, because this is not that kind of film. Sorry.

Lovers Leap was about to claim another (not so) happy couple.

Assuming you’ve thought, “Bugger it, I’ve read this far so I might as well read on", then let me reward you a little by telling you that there is plenty of gratuitous sex and numerous close ups of breasts and bums that should just about satisfy the grubby needs of most. But, there is a story here too that, combined with the images of aforementioned breasts and thighs, should keep you interested until the credits roll.

Lew (Dominic Purcell) is a small town ‘nobody’ who happens to stumble into the right place at the right time (or the wrong time depending how you look at it) and overhears a couple of adulterous young lovers planning to kidnap the lover’s wife and demand a substantial ransom from the in-laws. Already in trouble himself for finding his wife murdered and still lying in her dead lover’s arms, Lew knows their bodies now lie at the bottom of the ocean. Missing persons raise fewer questions than corpses, and certainly provide far less answers.

"Lend me your jacket, I'm freezin'."

He convinces his girlfriend, Rita (Joy Bryant), that he has the perfect plan to foil the kidnap by taking her off their hands and claiming the ransom himself, taking the money and getting the hell out of Carpinteria, the one-horse shit hole they call ‘home’.

While she is not convinced, she reluctantly agrees. Things get tricky when Lew’s dead wife’s murdered lover’s brother (phew!), Herbert (Dwight Yoakam), shows up pretending to be interested in buying real estate, but secretly sniffing around Lew’s property. He finally confesses that he needs his brother’s body as proof that he is now the sole heir to a small fortune but, of course, Lew is not about to hand over a body that he knows is lying on the ocean floor.

Having successfully foiled the kidnapping and waiting for the ransom, the net starts to close in when things go unexpected awry, and as one leak in the plan is plugged another begins. Things come to a head when the ransom money is left for collection, but knowing that there are several parties now with an interest in the million dollars, Lew is undecided just how to grab the money and run. Things get more and more difficult and it becomes clear that no one can be trusted.

The warning signs were everywhere.

This is a long way from the worst film of the year, but it still falls short of being a memorable experience due mainly to the somewhat muddled plot with one or two unnecessary ‘spanners in the works’ and the mostly gratuitous sex scenes that add precious little to the film. The acting is similarly bland with no standout performance. It’s worth the price of rental if a murder mystery type film is your thing, but either way it is not a film likely to get many repeat viewings

Like most recent releases, 3-Way scrubs up reasonably well. Presented in an aspect ratio of 1.85:1 and 16:9 enhanced, everything generally passes muster. Colours are consistent and accurate with little evidence of colour bleeding or noise. Grain is present in mild doses from time to time, but is hardly troublesome.

Black levels are likewise very good and shadow detail is good. There is very little in the way of artefacts such as dirt and other nasties, while compression artefacts are as good as absent also.

There are several audio options but only one in English, that being a Dolby Digital 5.1. The other two 5.1 mixes are in Italian and Spanish – with a host of subtitles to boot. The mix is noticeably front heavy, but the rears do make themselves known somewhat regularly for ambience, and in some of the action scenes. All dialogue is located front and centre and is loud, clear and well synchronised.

Overall there is a good range with decent fidelity and even a little something for your subwoofer from time to time.

The extras are limited to the mostly unnecessary titty shots contained in the feature - assuming you like that sort of thing.

3-Way would probably be better served by a title like 5-Way for it sounds more accurate and even more like a porn title. It’s not a dud film, but falls short of being a recommended ‘must see’ for it is run of the mill at best and doesn’t even have a big star to garner any interest. It shows promise, however, and with a different cast and crew might have fared better.