Hey, how you doin? This is Anthony Soprano, you may have heard of me. I’m a legitimate New Jersey businessman…a waste management consultant…amongst other tings. My good friend Vincent has asked me to write a few words about the release of one of my personal favourite shows on dvd, The Sopranos. Can you believe it? Me, I’m on f**kin’ dvd, unbelievable! You know, I still watch The Godfather 2 on laser disc – man I love dat film. So, I guess I gotta go buy it again. Now, with The Sopranos release on dvd, as if it wasn’t bad enough I got the feds watchin everytin’ I do, now I gotta worry about Joe Public schmucks like you buying my life story from f**kin Kmart. I tell ya, it never used to be like dis. I dunno, what’s this f**king world coming to… Anyway, let’s get on with the show.
Episode 1: Pilot
So welcome to my world, this is where it all begins. You’ll find out why I’m losing my friggin mind. My crew are a bunch of goombahs –but they make me laugh, I got the Czechoslovakians trying to bust my balls and get into my garbage contracts, my mother won’t go into a nursing home, and Uncle Junior wants to whack Little Pussy in my friend Artie Bucos restaurant Vesuvio. Of course, if he does that, Artie can kiss his clientele goodbye. So I gotta stop him, or find a new place to eat. On top of all this, the family of ducks that have been swimming in my pool have left. And now I’m having fainting spells. No f**kin wonder my neighbour Doctor Cusamano has given me the number of a good therapist to see…
Episode 2: 46 Long
My nephew Christopher, he’s a bit of a hot head, and the guy he’s running with, Brendan, is a real drugged up flake. They hit a Comley truck (which just happens to be a nice protection earner for Uncle Junior) and scored a load of dvd players, so Junior’s obviously pissed at this. I’ve told Christopher to keep away from Comley and lose his idiot friend, but somethin’ tells me he’s just gonna cause more problems, and that I don’t need. My ma’s lost the plot, so I’m making her go into a nursing home, now she won’t even talk to me. I tell my therapist this and she’s got the nerve to tell me that I hate my mother! What kind of f**kin’ thing is that to say about your mother?
Episode 3: Denial, Anger, Acceptance
I’m worried about my good friend and acting boss Jackie Aprile. He’s got cancer and I can’t do anythin for him. Maybe I’ll try to cheer him up a little. I know just the ting… We also got a good tip to help a Jew family get rid of a little problem. How hard can it be? If it goes right, maybe we can get into the motel business. Artie Buco is drivin me f**kin nuts. Sometimes, tings don’t quite work out like you plan, and I’m feelin a little guilty about what happened to his restaurant. Times are tough for him since the fire, all he ever does is go on about losing the place. I wish he’d let me help him out. Uncle Junior is still very pissed about Christopher and Brendan hitting his trucks, so with Ma’s approval I think he’s gonna teach them a little lesson. Oh yeah, and Arties wife tells my wife Carmela somethin which I’m sure isn’t going go down too well. I think it could be time for a visit to my shrink.
Episode 4: Meadowlands
Right. I’m not sure whether it’s me who’s nuts or everyone else. Uncle Junior’s outta control shaking everyting up, I’m startin to get worried that therapy could be a bad idea and lead to too much exposure and I can’t risk that –I think I’ll have Dr. Melfi tailed. My kid Anthony Jnr. is having problems at school and I tink he might be catchin’ on to my real line of business, and I don’t need dat at the moment either. Worst of all, cancer finally got the better of Jackie Aprile, which means it’s time to choose a new boss, so it’s either me or Uncle Junior. This oughta be interesting…
Episode 5: College
I take my daughter Meadow on a road trip to check out all the College’s she wants to attend. How f**kin’ hard could dat be? Actually, pretty f**kin hard when I spot a mob rat on the way and decide to get a little bit of revenge while I’m at it. On top of dat, Meadow starts askin’ all sorts of questions about whether I’m in da mob. The Russian girl I’m seein on the side, she’s givin me brain-damage, Carmela finds out my therapist is a woman, so now she tinks naturally I’m f**kin her too, and that friggin freeloader priest spent the night at my house with Carmela and she says nothin happened. Either he’s a finocchi or she’s bullshittin’ me.
Episode 6: Pax Soprano
The prozac I’m taking is making me a little…shall we say, soft, in certain departments concerning my lovelife. The only thing that excites me right now is my Dr. Melphi, I tink maybe I love her. Uncle Junior has taken to being the new boss a little over enthusiastically, and the captains are a little concerned that he’s getting greedy and not sharing the wealth around. Of course, seeing as he’s my uncle, it’s my job to deal with him. F**kin family…
Episode 7: Down Neck
Speakin of family, my family family wanna drive me to an early grave. Anthony Jnr and a couple of his friends stole some wine and got drunk at school. The school wanna run some tests and see if he’s got attention deficit disorder or some bullshit. But I dunno, maybe it’s somethin else. It’s makin me think about how tings used ta be with my own pop. Like how when I first found out my pop wasn’t like other kids dads. The ting that concerns me most is I just don’t want Anthony Jnr becoming like me.
Episode 8: Legend of Tennessee Moltisanto
Rumour is that the Feds are gonna be comin down on us hard with indictments, so it’s panic stations all round and time for a little spring cleaning around the house to hide the spare moolah and jewels and laying low for a while. I tell ya they got no respect for what us Italians have done for this country, the ungrateful bastards. Meanwhile as if Christopher didn’t already have enough ta tink about with the Feds watchin our arses, he’s all depressed because he doesn’t feel his life is going anywhere and can't get any inspiration for this movie script he wants ta write.
Episode 9: Boca
Meadow's soccer team is on a winning streak when the coach decides to leave for another school. We want him to stay, so we try to make him an offer he can’t refuse. Then one of the girls on the team tries to kill herself, which makes us tink dat maybe he should be leavin -permanently...if ya know what I mean, the f**kin lowlife degenerate scumbag. Uncle Junior finally finds out that I see a therapist and is worried that I could be putting the family at risk. And I know a little secret about Uncle Junior…somethin fishy south of the border…
Episode 10: A Hit Is A Hit
A hit pays off better than expected, so everyone is in a good mood. I wanna branch out with some new friends -Doc Cusamano has invited me to play some golf at his club. Maybe I will, but I’m worried what the boys will say about me hanging out with some Americani. After meeting with some black gangsters that have a beef over royalties with Hesh, Christopher decides to put some of his cut of the score towards getting into music management with Adriana.
Episode 11: Nobody Knows Anything
Jimmy and Pussy get pinched, and our insider on the force tells us that Jimmy has been wearing a wire. But this is a little hard for me to believe, I mean F**K! Jimmy? No f**kin way! Still, I gotta find out either way, because if it’s true, well you know what this means for Pussy.
Episode 12: Isabella
Valium, Lithium, these drugs are killing me. I feel like I’m dead on the inside. But the Italian girl taking care of the Cusamano’s house next door is makin me feel pretty f**kin good. But that’s the good news. The bad news is that Uncle Jun tries to have me whacked. If ya can’t trust f**kin family, who can ya trust?
Episode 13: I Dream Of Jeannie Cusamano
We know that Jimmy’s the rat, not Pussy, so that sonafabitch is gonna get his brain redocorated. I’m gonna settle all scores, which means Uncle Juniors soldier Mickey is gonna cop a steel jacket lobotomy too for arranging my failed hit. The feds are on my case worse than ever. Now they’re tellin me that Ma arranged to have me killed with Uncle Junior. Conveniently, Ma’s actin like she has f**kin Alzheimers all of a sudden, the lyin rat bitch. She even told Artie Buco I started the fire at Vesuvio! Time to pay Ma a little visit with a pillow... The Feds swoop down and pick up Uncle Junior and a few of his boys for some callin card scam they had runnin, so now we'll see who sings like a f**kin bird... F**kin families, can’t live with em, can’t kill em...
Even though The Sopranos was filmed in a 1.78:1 aspect ratio, the package conflictingly states that the image is presented in a letterbox format AND/OR 1.33:1 fullscreen ratio. What we do get however is definitely the 1.33:1 image. Now dis alone has caused enough agita for most people, thinkin that they’ve been ripped off by not getting the proper 1.78:1 transfer (and DD5.1 audio, I might add) that region 1 got. Well, look at it this way, on television in Australia the show is broadcast in stereo with a fullscreen (probably pan & scan) image and I don’t hear anyone bitchin about it, and I know a lot of people who watch the show and will buy the series on dvd. I personally would prefer the proper widescreen image, but I don’t believe we’re really missing out on anything in this case, so let’s move on, shall we?
As for the actual quality of the transfer, well, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. Generally, the transfer is very crisp and colours fairly vibrant. There’s a bit grain evident at most times, with episode 5 probably being the more suspect of the lot. This particular show is mostly very low lighting, and it reflects in the transfer with vastly reduced detail in the blacks and shadow areas. The main concern with the transfer is the amount of aliasing visible compounded with the grain causing visible movement with fine detail, affecting practically every episode to varying degrees. It manifests itself in the usual suspects, such as car grilles, and fine weave/patterns of clothing. Asides from this though, the transfer is greatly improved over the way you’d see it on free to air t.v., with a much sharper and more detailed, cleaner image.
